


Buy One, Get One

by maychorian



Series: Boom Crash [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Protectiveness, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:36:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8193955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maychorian/pseuds/maychorian
Summary: Lance is still rebuilding his identity after the way everything shattered for him a while ago. He's finally gotten to the part that Hunk has been looking forward to the least: flirting. There's a (high) chance that this will all end horribly for everyone involved.





	

Hunk knew that Lance was going to start flirting again eventually. Lance was still unsure of himself, though. They'd been walking around this busy market all day, searching through the wares, and whenever Lance met a stallkeeper or marketgoer who looked humanoid, female, and approachable, a spark lit in his eye and he started to open his mouth. Hunk watched him side-eye every time, waiting for the inevitable cheesy pick-up line. "You come here often?" or "How you doing?" were the most likely things to come out of Lance's gaping pie-hole, and Hunk was expecting to hear one of those (or some other awful line he couldn't even imagine) at any moment.

But it didn't come. Every single time, Lance second-guessed himself, flushed, and closed his mouth again. It was getting a little painful to watch, frankly. Hunk loved his buddy, flaws and all, and part of Lance's personality was just being a terrible, terrible flirt. It was who he was, and Hunk knew the guy still wasn't exactly sure who he was, but c'mon. It was going to come back. It had to. The moment something horrible and flirtatious came out of Lance's mouth, Hunk fully intended to groan loudly in secondhand embarrassment. But he was also going to sigh in relief, because it would be the sound of another piece of Lance's self slotting into place.

The sun was high and bright, and Hunk had found an interesting fruit and vegetable stall to check out. Lance hung around awkwardly several yards to the right, picking up random fruits and looking them over, then putting them back down again. The merchant at this stall was a female humanoid with smooth pink skin and two pairs of bright green eyes. Lance kept looking at her, then away. Hunk was sympathetic, but he also rolled his eyes. "C'mon," he muttered under his breath. "Just do it. _Do_ it, you silly potato."

"Hunk?" Lance's voice was relieved, glad that Hunk had interrupted his unproductive attempts to work himself up. "Are you talking to the tubers again?"

 _No,_ Hunk almost said. _I'm talking to you, ya goober._ Instead, though, he sighed and squinted at the shiny red vegetable in his hand. It was definitely not a potato. When he sniffed it, it had vague scents of citrus and...vanilla? "Yeah, Lance," he said. "Totally talking to the tubers. Why don't you flirt with the shopkeeper already? I know you want to."

Lance jerked away from the stall as if the fruit had suddenly been rigged to shock him and turned to look at Hunk with a look of wide-eyed betrayal. "I do, I do not," he sputtered, utterly transparent.

Hunk narrowed his eyes at him. "You do." He gestured at the merchant, who watched them with unblinking eyes and the cool, kindly expression of a person who dealt with customers all day, every day. "C'mon. Say something to the nice..." He turned to face the shopkeeper. "Lady? Gentleman? Something else? I'm sorry, I'm not sure of your gender."

The merchant made a sound very like a lot of bubbles being popped at once, which Hunk took as laughter. "My people switch genders as needed for reproduction. I am currently female."

"Lady," Hunk concluded. He raised his eyebrows at Lance.

Lance turned almost as red as the fruit in Hunk's hand. He stared at Hunk, then at the (officially) lady merchant, then back at Hunk. The lady merchant was smiling now, lips upcurved and teeth hidden, gently amused. Hunk got it. Lance was kind of adorable, truly, even when he was being ridiculous and embarrassing.

Hunk sighed. Time to step in and be a hero. He put the shiny fruit down, then stepped over to Lance. He put his arm around his shoulders and turned him to face the lady merchant. "You'll have to be patient with my friend," he said solemnly. "He's shy right now. But believe me when I say that he finds you extremely attractive, and he very much wants to flirt with you. If that's okay, of course. If you would find it bothersome, we'll just leave you be to conduct your business."

The merchant batted all four of her eyelids and leaned forward, elbows on the counter on her side of stall, chin resting on pink-skinned wrists. "Actually, I'm quite interested now in what your friend has to say. I will accept a bit of flirting, with the understanding that it is unlikely to go anywhere. I am already bonded to two partners, which is the societal limit among my people."

Hunk nodded easily, then looked to Lance. "Buddy?" He tightened his arm around his shoulders and shook him gently back and forth. "Now's your chance."

Lance looked at Hunk, panting and red-faced, white showing all around his irises. "Hunk, you're ruining everything," he hissed. "You can't...you can't plan _flirting._ You don't tell someone you're going to flirt with them and then have them _wait_ while you _work up to it."_

Hunk smiled indulgently and squeezed him into his side. "Why not? We're pilots of giant mechanical magic lions, dude. We're out in space fighting an evil empire, being defenders of the universe, fighting for freedom and democracy and all that good stuff, and we're not even old enough to vote back where we came from. The old rules are out the window. Or the airlock." He lifted his other hand in an expansive wave toward the merchant. "Now stop waffling around and _say something to the lady."_

Lance stared at him for a few seconds longer, then finally seemed to find his mettle. His mouth firmed, and he gave Hunk a short nod, then wiggled out of his grip and turned to face the merchant. His body language changed, becoming more open and less tense, though Hunk still read the hesitation and anxiety in the set of his shoulders. Lance leaned forward, one hand on the upright support of the stall while the other rested on his cocked hip. And he flashed one of the cheesiest smiles Hunk had ever seen on him.

"So..." he started, and that was the tone of voice, too. The one that made Hunk reflexively cringe while Allura's mouth pulled down in a grumpy scowl, Shiro narrowed his eyes, Keith looked at the ceiling, and Pidge grinned like she was watching the best entertainment she'd ever seen. "I couldn't help but notice that you have a lot of beautiful produce here. Everything is very pretty and colorful and enticing. But..." Lance brought out the finger guns and pointed at the lady merchant, one eye winking shut while the corner of his mouth curled up. "None of them are as pretty and colorful and enticing as _you."_

Hunk had to work very hard to fight down the urge to groan. That one...actually wasn't too bad, by Lance's standards. Fortunately, the lady merchant agreed. She laughed, loud and delighted, head leaning back and eyes closing in absolute mirth. Then she looked at Lance again, still grinning, twelve fingers wiggling in what Hunk presumed was a gesture of pleasure. "Not bad, Voltron paladin," she said. "It does not draw me to pursue you in return, nor to accept any courtship rituals, but I'm not repelled by you."

Lance grinned, broad and wide and childishly happy with this...let's call it success. "I'll take it."

Hunk didn't groan. He didn't let himself. But he did feel obligated to buy several fruits and vegetables that he might have found at a better price elsewhere. Then Lance spotted a stall that seemed to be selling electronics and dragged Hunk over to see if there would be anything useful for the ship.

After that single, qualified success, Lance's anxiety was mostly lifted. He found the gumption to flirt with several other likely-looking females they came across in the market, though there was always a moment of hesitation before he could force anything out. Hunk saw him struggle through it, saw him force his shoulders to relax, a smirk slipping across his lips before he opened his mouth. "You come here often?" and "How you doing?" were, indeed, the most common choices for the opening salvo.

Hunk was pleased, mostly. Lance was back. And if someone had to put up with this side of his personality, Hunk was the best choice. It was a good thing they'd split up this way. Each pair had at least one person who would have a good eye for merchandise they needed while the other one could watch their six for any danger. Shiro and Pidge were together, as well as Allura and Coran, and Keith had been designated free agent allowed to roam the market at will keeping an eye out for trouble. Keith didn't have the patience for perusing the wares, anyway, so he'd been as happy as anyone else with the arrangement.

The sun was starting to lower in the sky, and Hunk was feeling a disturbance in his gut. It was time to go back to the castle and make supper. He was eager to experiment with all the new ingredients he'd found, and he knew Coran and Pidge would be pleased with the ship parts he'd come across, too. The two of them crossed the enormous market back toward the designated meeting spot near the entrance.

Shiro and Pidge were already there, and Pidge waved enthusiastically as soon as she saw them. Hunk waved back, and Lance grinned, a bit of swagger in his step. He was too obviously feeling good about his day. Sure he had struck out with everyone he'd flirted with, sometimes painfully so, but he'd still flirted with a _lot_ of beautiful creatures. That, to Lance, was a success.

Shiro smiled at them, his arms crossed over his chest, though Hunk could see the question in his eyes. Hunk was probably going to have to explain the difference in Lance's manner from when the day began. Or maybe Lance would do it for him and start bragging as soon as he got close enough to talk to their teammates.

Then Lance spotted another woman, and Hunk almost took back all the good feelings he'd been having. Yeah, she was pretty. Probably the prettiest individual they'd seen so far, with long black eyelashes and pale skin, tall and graceful and smartly dressed. But the instant Hunk laid eyes on her, something deep in his gut screamed _danger._

Maybe it was her clothes. They definitely looked like a uniform of some sort, with an efficient cut and several broad swaths of color, and something that looked like insignia over her left breast. She was tall, tall as a Galra, with broad shoulders and well-defined muscles under her skin-tight shirt and trousers. Her bearing, too, proclaimed her a being of strength and precision, and her eyes were sharp and intelligent. She was obviously here for a reason, and it probably had nothing to do with commerce.

Lance didn't seem to notice. Of course. In most situations, Lance was actually very observant, and he was able to use those observations to form smart and useful plans. But all of that disappeared when he faced someone this beautiful. Hunk had seen it happen in the past.

Hunk groaned genuinely this time, his free hand reaching out to grab the collar of Lance's armor and hold him at his side while his other hand was weighed down with bags and baskets. But Lance was already gone, splitting off from the path back to Shiro and Pidge to approach the pretty lady. Hunk slapped his hand against his face and watched him go. "Lance..."

Lance ignored the warning in his voice, just waving behind himself at Hunk with one hand as if to say "It's cool, it's cool." Hunk could not have disagreed more. But Lance had already reached the lady. He looked up at her, the smile he thought was charming firmly in place. "Hey, there, beautiful. Is this your first time at the Felara Market? I could show you around."

The woman had been looking away, paying no more attention to Lance's approach than if he was an ant crawling in the dirt. At the sound of his voice she turned to look him, eyebrows raising in surprise. "Pardon?"

Lance's smile widened. "Are you new around here? You look a little lost. But no worries, I've found you now."

She smiled, sudden and wide. Her eyes glinted, and she bowed her head to look more closely into Lance's face, hands resting on her hips. "Well. Well, well, well. Aren't you an interesting little thing?"

Lance grinned back, pleased as could be to have his attention returned. He didn't seem to notice the predatory gleam in her eye or the sharp teeth behind her smile. Hunk gulped, feeling frozen where he stood.

Shiro's hand landed on Hunk's shoulder, and he jumped and looked over to see the thoughtful frown on his face. "Hunk? Everything okay?"

Hunk grimaced and looked back at Lance. "I don't know. Lance has been flirting with a lot of people today, so I think he might have gotten carried away. This lady...I don't know. She seems dangerous."

Shiro's forehead wrinkled as he watched the two. "Think we should go drag him back?"

Hunk shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I don't want to destroy his confidence," he said slowly. "Lance _just_ got it back. Seriously, Shiro, he was so nervous at the beginning that I had to step in and, like, give him permission to flirt with probably the nicest shopkeeper in this whole place. Pretty much all day, he's been building himself back up to where he used to be. He's starting to feel more like himself, finally, and I don't want to mess with that. But..."

"But this seems...bad." Shiro and Hunk watched as the pretty lady bent over to look closer at Lance, one hand lifting from her hip as if to reach out to him. And Lance just stood there, completely open and innocent, not the slightest hint of caution in his stance or expression.

If Hunk hadn't been wearing his armor gloves, he would have been chewing on his nails. "He trusts too easily," he muttered to Shiro, knowing that Shiro would agree. It was like that time with the bounty hunters, or more than one incident Hunk had been present for back on Earth. Sure, Lance's easy trust and friendliness had let him accomplish amazing things with Blue, but in this situation it felt like a liability instead of asset.

Still, Hunk couldn't bring himself to step in. But he felt himself getting more and more tense as the encounter continued, and Shiro's hand was tight on his shoulder. The lady's hand reached toward Lance, sharp nails gleaming in the late light.

Then Hunk's decision was made for him. A blur of red and white passed him on the right, and he turned too slowly to see what it was and where it came from. He looked forward again, eyes wide, to see Keith stalking toward Lance with his head down, footsteps aggressive and hard on the packed dirt of the marketplace.

Lance barely had a chance to look up, eyes widening in shock, before Keith's hands clamped down on his arm and shoulder and yanked him bodily away from the lady. She stood there, fingers a fraction of an inch from closing, and disappointment flashed on her face before she straightened again with a smirk. Keith paid her no mind, just spun Lance around and pushed him back toward the group.

"Hey!" Lance protested. He tried to dig in his heels, looking back over his shoulder at the lady, but Keith overpowered him. "Hey, stop that! What are you doing? Leave me alone! I was getting somewhere!"

"You weren't," Keith said shortly, voice a low growl. He reached Hunk and Shiro and pushed Lance into their arms. They both responded instinctively, Shiro switching his grip from Hunk's shoulder to Lance's while Hunk grabbed Lance's arm where Keith had been holding a few seconds before. Pidge had joined them, too, and was now snickering into her hands.

Keith turned back around and moved a few feet forward to face the lady. His bayard was in his hand, blade beginning to form. He didn't say anything, but he stood here, staring her down, just daring her to come after Lance. Where Hunk had sensed something that _might_ have been a threat from her, Keith had apparently already made up his mind that that was what she was.

The lady stood there facing Keith for a moment. Her smirk twisted to something savage, sharp-toothed and mean, like a dog that had had a piece of meat snatched from its jaws. It only lasted for a second, then she turned away, tossing her hair over her shoulder, face smoothing again. She made a gesture at Keith that was probably obscene and strode away into the market.

"Aww," Lance said, voice high and agitated. "You let her get away!"

Keith spun to face him again, bayard winking out. He bared his teeth and shoved forward a few inches into Lance's personal space, his expression fierce. "If you do that again, I will push you into a corner and _sit_ on you."

Lance jerked back a step, eyebrows rising. "What...what the...? What are you talking about?" There was hurt on his face now, and Hunk got it, he did, but he couldn't help the relief that swept through him at having Lance safe back with them. His hand tightened on Lance's arm to keep him where he was.

"That was dangerous, Lance," Keith said, since Lance still didn't seem to understand why he'd dragged him away. "You shouldn't have done that."

"What, you jealous I got there first?" That was definitely hurt in Lance's voice, too. As Hunk had feared, interfering at that moment had wounded Lance's pride and bruised his feelings. He laughed in Keith's face, a touch of anger coming in now to cover up the hurt. "I know what I'm doing! Who do you think you are?"

Keith was taken aback now, too. He took a step back, confusion sweeping over his features, and looked to Pidge as if she could translate this for him. Pidge shrugged, still spurting with hysterical laughter. Hunk guessed there was humor to be found in this situation, sure, but mostly he just felt bad that Keith and Lance were misunderstanding each other so badly.

Shiro seemed to feel the same. He cleared his throat, then reached out for Keith's shoulder and drew him away. His voice lowered, but Hunk still heard him clearly. "Keith, I know you were just worried, but that's not the way we treat someone we respect. You can't just grab someone and handle them like a doll."

Keith's mouth dropped open in utter dismay. "I never said I respected Lance!"

Lance made a noise of outrage, and Hunk gripped his arm and pulled him away, too. "Lance, Lance." He put both hands on his shoulders and tried to look in his face while Lance strained to look away, staring back at Shiro and Keith. "Lance, listen to me."

After a moment, Lance gave up on that and turned to face Hunk. His eyes were still wide with hurt, but the anger had faded now that he wasn't faced with Keith anymore. He seemed to be listening, so Hunk sighed and tried again.

"Listen, dude, Keith didn't mean to imply that you can't handle yourself or anything like that. He was just worried about you being in that situation."

Lance wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, I got that part. He thought I was annoying that lady, right?"

Hunk shook his head, appalled. "No, no, you don't get it. He was worried about _you._ For your safety. That lady was dangerous, man. She was looking at you like a piece of meat."

Lance tilted his head. "Well, I don't really mind that..."

"No." Hunk shook him by the shoulders. "You're still not getting it. Like _meat._ Like she wanted to eat you. Literally. Not in a fun way."

Lance stared at him in confusion for a few more seconds. Then understanding began to dawn. He looked back over his shoulder at Keith, eyes widening, then back to Hunk. "She..." His voice was suddenly weak.

Hunk nodded solemnly. "That was not a good situation, man. Keith was worried about you, because... I don't know if you've noticed this, but Keith has gotten really protective of you lately. Ever since the day of the big blow-up."

Lance opened his mouth, then closed it again. He stared at Hunk pleadingly, asking him to continue to explain.

"You remember the battle at Danber? That was the first time. We all noticed. Keith didn't leave your side for the entire thing, and it wasn't because he was worried that you wouldn't be able to handle Blue while you were emotionally compromised. It was because he was worried about _you._ About keeping you safe. Later he told me that he didn't even care about the mission for the first time, like, ever. Keith _always_ cares about the mission. But not that time. Because you're important to us, to all of us, including him, and he wanted to make sure you were safe."

Lance's eyes were welling now, and his bottom lip was starting to tremble. "Really?" The word was choked and small.

"Yeah." Hunk managed a smile. "He didn't mean to hurt your feelings, man. He's just bad at showing how much he cares, so he tends to go for the big, dramatic gestures instead of just, you know, saying it out loud."

"Oh." Lance turned back toward the others, where Pidge was now standing by Keith and patting his back in commiseration. She was still grinning at the entire situation, though there was sympathy in her face, too. Hunk let his hands slide off Lance's shoulders, and he strode determinedly to Keith. Hunk followed not far behind and slipped over to stand by Pidge.

"I'm sorry, Keith," Lance said, utterly sincere. "I shouldn't have gotten upset at you. I just didn't know you cared."

Keith crossed his arms over his chest, his expression still confused and grumpy. "Of course I care," he bit out. "How could you possibly think I didn't care? Haven't I done enough to show it? I mean, you know, in the base when you..."

"No," Lance interrupted. He threw his arms out from his body, a big grin overtaking his face even as a few tears escaped his eyes. "I mean I didn't know you _caaaaaared!"_

He threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around Keith. Keith grunted when he hit him, then lost his balance, and they both tumbled down into the dirt. Lance laughed joyfully while Keith sputtered in indignation.

"You care, you care, you really care!" Lance chanted gleefully, while Keith tried to get his arms between them to shove against his body.

"Get off, get _off_ me, I never asked for this!"

"No, you didn't, but this is what you get when you care!"

"Then I'm sorry!" Keith shouted desperately. "I'll never show that I care about you again!"

"Too late! I already know!"

Their helmets had fallen off and Lance was now rubbing his cheek against Keith's hair, laughing in delight while Keith continued to sputter and tried to squirm out from under him without hurting him. Shiro grinned and stepped gingerly out of the way to stand next to Hunk and Pidge. And that was how Allura and Coran found them.

All in all, it was a successful day at the market, Hunk decided. In every way.


End file.
